i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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