i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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