do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize