Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
