I want to stick my p in your. b.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
