that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
