Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
