Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
