We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize