Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize