last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
