so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
