I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
