I feel great
I just peed on a car
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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