i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize