Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
