I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
