So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Who died my cat blue again?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
