Plan B is the new Plan A
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
