We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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