me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
