My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
