Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
