i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
