he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
