what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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