Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
