I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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