I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
