look no pants
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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