So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
