I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
