She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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