You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
