And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
