Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
