It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize