I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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