That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
