I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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