i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
