So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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