R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
