My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
