i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
