Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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