oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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