That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i already hear my dad disowning me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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