Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
