I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
