i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
