Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
