Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
