New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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