I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize