New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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