I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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