Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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