to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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