thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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