did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
