I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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