So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
