covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why are your pants in the freezer?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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