the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize