Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize