I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
