marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dual....:-)
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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