You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
