Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
