I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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