I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
