How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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